Trip Down Memory Lane

We went to the doctor today for a check-up. Benjamin weighs EIGHT pounds! I was so happy I could have jumped up and down right there in the office. :) Silly as it may be, there is something about each ounce and pound he gains that makes me feel proud. You see, I do my very best to keep my milk supply up and stuff him full at every opportunity.They told me that weight gain may be one of Benjamin's biggest challenges resulting from his prematurity. At times, this feels like a daunting task... like it's all I do. I exist to produce milk and feed it to Benjamin... So, needless to say, I cherish these moments of weight gain news.

After his appointment, we went upstairs to visit the NICU for the first and last time since he graduated over a month ago. They were so happy to see him again, and that made my heart smile. We pulled him out of his carseat and and passed him around, spreading the joy that only babies bring.

I came across this clever poem months ago while I was reading a book on premature infants. I'd like to share it with you as its perfect words echo the very thoughts and feelings that Mark and I experienced. Enjoy!



When I first saw you, kid, you were tiny and thin
And slimy and red and your head was mushed in.
I said to your mother, “He looks kind of sloppy,
And two pounds four ounces ain’t big for a crappie.”

But something about you, the look in your eyes,
Said you fully intended to grow to full size.
They slapped your backside and you let out a cry,
And I said, “We will keep him, at least we shall try.”

Some babies are born in nine months, by the clock.
Some babies are born, and they sit up and talk.
Some babies are born, and no doctor is there.
But some babies come in on a wing and a prayer.

Poor little fetus as big as your hand.
Poor little fish thrown up on dry land.
Who came in late April though he had till July,
Too small to live and too precious to die.

They shipped you downstairs to the big Neonatal
Intensive Care Unit’s computerized cradle
And attached you to wires and stuck you with tubes
Monitored closely by digital cubes.

And thanks to the latest neonatal therapeusis
And regular basting with greases from gooses
And hot chicken soup intravenously fed
You did not fade away but grew up instead.

We’ll always remember the months that you spent
With tubes in your head in the oxygen tent
And the mask on your face, the wires attached.
Sweet little baby who was only half hatched.

I’m sure you’ll grow up and mature and extend
To six feet six inches and become a tight end.
But I’ll always remember each doctor and nurse in
The NICU who helped make you a person.
The kid who crash landed, who was carried away,
Who survived it, this bundle we bring home today.

~ Garrison Keillor ~

Moving On...

Well, the time has come, friends.

We are being shipped out of Okinawa next month and will arrive in Las Vegas to begin our second tour of duty. Yes. My husband and my wee one are headed for none other than America's "Sin City". Las Vegas? Really? I didn't realize people actually lived there... I thought people just went to visit. ;) Aside from driving through, I've never even been there. At first, I was a little disappointed because it's all DESERT. First I left those amazing Rocky Mountains with sunsets unlike any other place in the world, and then came to this beautiful, lush, tropical island surrounded by amazing greenery and sparkling water. And now, we're off to the sandlands. That's... exciting.

But on second thought, it might be kind of fun! First and foremost, I'm looking forward to the many shopping options I'm about the have. Oh, how I've missed that. Secondly, there will be so many more places I can sing! Simply being in the states opens up so many doors that have been closed to us for a long time.

We never quite know why God takes us where he does, do we? Well, Mark and I prayed and prayed and asked God to take us where he wanted us. And we are sure that this was His decision and not just circumstance. We had a wish list of our own actually. And Las Vegas wasn't on it. There usually isn't a strong need for Mark's job in Vegas either. And there are plenty of other bases and hospitals that could give Benjamin the best care if he needed it. I firmly believe that when a believer asks God to take the reigns of his life, God happily complies and does not sit back idly and watch. There is way too much at stake. There is too big a mission field out there, and not enough people raising their hands.

Anyway, after some discussion, Mark and I are ready and willing to completely dive into our life at this new place and eagerly seek out the reasons God wants us there. Let the adventure begin. And it's gonna be a big one, folks. A big one.





Mark, Laura & Benjamin

Exerpts From My Diary: Surreal

He's amazing. Every time I look at him, I can't believe it. It's surreal really. Still. Even two months later. God is incredibly creative and powerful. How could I doubt Him? Sometimes I'm overcome with feelings of fear and intimidation... Is the baby breathing? Are we doing it right? Is he getting enough to eat? Today, I clipped his fingernails. They were too long and he was scratching his face. I accidentally clipped some skin off of his thumb. I felt awful! It was so, so sad. I think he forgives me though. His eyes can't lie, right?

This seems easy enough. The actual work anyway. Feed him. Change him. Cuddle him. Play with him. Now again. But my eyes are tired. My arms are tired. My brain can't think straight and driving has become hazardous at times. How can caring for this wee one be so exhausting? My heart is full of joy... and if I'm honest, feelings of sadness and heaviness at times. I think that's normal. Sometimes it feels so serious... to be completely responsible for another life. Scary and overhwelming. Too much really.

But I am not alone. See that's the lie.. that I'm alone. The truth is that God is in control and every single breath comes from Him anyway. He cares immensely about Benjamin and our family. He is, after all, our Great Protector. So why would I spend my time being afraid? That's not from Him.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Taken from Matthew 10)

“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Taken from Matthew 7)



Had I known how incredible it would feel to have a small child as lovely and precious as Benjamin, I might have accepted the responsibility much sooner! See? God knew. He always does.